In Memory of Smith Gibbons Frost

By way of full disclosure this is Allen writing this post. My wife, Monique is much better at writing and blogging than me, but sometimes I take the opportunity to post. This post is mainly to my kids, but perhaps may be of some comfort for those who have recently lost a love one to that great equalizer Death.

This is a picture of the gravestone of my dad, Smith Gibbons Frost; he went by Gibb. My dad passed away 14 years ago today. My dad suffered a stroke in the evening of 10/30/1997 and passed away just two days later in the afternoon of 11/1/1997.

I was serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints at the time in Pueblo, CO so I missed all the events leading up to his death. Fortunately I came home for 3 days to participate in the funeral. Those were some of the most memorable, emotional, important days of my life and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything.

My dad was a great father. His greatest effort in life was in raising his children and strengthening his marriage. He made mistakes in life, but on the whole he was a good man. I am so grateful to have such great parents that fed me, clothed me, supported me and put up with my terrible teenage attitude.

Since I've gone through my fair share of death in my day, I'll share a few insights I have regarding it:

1. Be grateful for your parents sacrifice. They have weaknesses and you will go through a period where you don't like them very much. Accept their weaknesses and learn to incorporate the good things they taught you into your life

2. If you have a friend/loved one that suffered a death in the family don't be afraid to invite them to talk about it. Let them share at their own pace, but be there to support them. Your support will be needed years after the death occurs

3. Take time to heal and be emotional. A couple of months ago Monique and I were in the kitchen and I had the distinct impression my dad paid me a visit. I shared my experience with Monique, we had a nice cry and I felt a lot better about life. Emotions need to be dealt with. If you don't deal with them you'll eventually emotionally explode (I credit my sister Jennifer with this advice)

4. When you're overly emotional, sleep. You'll feel better about life when you wake up. Grief can be a demanding task master. Sleeping is a way to find a few hours of relief from your pain

5. Earn a testimony of the profound significance of Jesus Christ overcoming death. Sometimes in our teachings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ we focus so much on Him overcoming sin His resurrection gets glossed over. This is one of the distinct differences we have from Satan. We have bodies and he doesn't. That give us power over Satan and his followers

I know I'll see my dad again someday. This is a brief period of separation. I only hope when I die that I have the kind of positive impact on this great earth that he did. Love you, dad!