I'm back with another update on Carter's schooling situation. I can't even begin to explain what a stressful situation this has been. It's so crazy that you make decisions as a parent and have no idea if what you're doing is right!
We 've thought so much about Carter going in to first grade this year and just haven't felt completely comfortable with it. The school really got us with the surprise factor and that's probably what has bothered me the most. We were never consulted to see if it's what we wanted for him. We also want to make sure he's challenged but not overwhelmed. On Wednesday after BTSN, I made a ton of phone calls to friends who have had their kids in the school, to the teacher and to the curriculum/placement counselor. I got about a 50/50 response. 50% of people thought he'd do great, 50% thought it was a bad idea to move him up. I did find out that he was the only boy out of the 4 kids that were moving up to 1st grade. That bothered me quite a bit as boys have a tendency to be more immature than girls, anyway. I'm pretty confident that he could handle it academically so my main concern has been the social aspect. It has also been so strange trying to figure out if this is right for him for the future - like high school future. Did we want him to always be the youngest kid in his class, would we hold him back in the future, etc.
By Wed. afternoon I had decided that I would prefer to have him in Kindergarten with his peers. There are 8 Kindy classes at the school and they still separate the kids out by ability so I knew he could still be in the class with the more advanced Kindergartners. I called the school and found out that they didn't have a single spot open in the entire Kindy program. At that point I had no choice but to leave it in the Lord's hands and we prayed that a spot would open for him if it was right. We went ahead and prepared for the 1st grade class.
Well, finally this morning, the school called to tell me that had a spot open up for him in Kindy. I am so relieved and FINALLY FINALLY feel at peace with this situation. This entire process has been such a huge roller coaster. We feel really blessed that it's worked out for us! We're off to the school this afternoon to meet his new teacher.
Whew! I promise I have lots more ideas that I hope I can share this weekend! Thanks for all your support and encouraging words!
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16 comments:
Gosh! Why does it have to be so stressful! I'm glad you guys feel good about the placement!
I know I've talked to you about this same problem... why do we have to make these decisions before we know what the right thing to do is & how it will effect them in the future! (That said, I'm still planning on all 3 of mine being the youngest in their class!)
I think you've made the right decision, if my opinion means anything! :)
I skipped 1st grade. It was really hard. The 2nd graders had already known each other for 2 years, and then I joined them and had a hard time making friends. I was always the tallest and the youngest, through high school. It was hard not getting to date or drive when everyone else in your grade can.
I think if you were going to skip a grade, skipping kindergarten might be the easiest socially. However, starting school in first grade with other kids who already knew what school was like, how to follow instructions, the schedule, etc. would be really hard. I think if you had lots of older siblings and were more familiar with school, and you as a parent knew what to expect, it would be easier.
It sounds like the school will be fabulous and the teacher will help Carter be challenged enough. There are lots of extras that teachers and parents can do to help smart kids! Good luck!
I'm glad that everything worked out well. I agree w/ Rebecca on the high school thing...i remember having friends that were really young and weren't allowed to do things the others could...so they ended up either feeling left out and alone, or disobeying the rules.
I must have missed your first post but holy cow. What a lot to deal with. At the end of kindergarten the principal called me and asked me how I would feel about moving Skylar to second grade this year. I felt just like you...it would be better for him academically but socially I KNOW he needs first grade. The interesting thing is that he reads on a fifth grade level and yet never once mentioned being bored in kindergarten, LOL. He loved it. I think you'll be really happy with your decision. Isn't kindergarten all day there? WOW. Lots of changes coming up for you. Good luck!
PS--hurry and post your ideas, LOL. I need them.
What a relief to have everything settled! Can't wait for more BTS ideas, too!
Carter will love kindergarten!!!
As a 1st grade teacher and doctoral student in education, I am a strong believer that children do better when they are one of the older students in their class. I can point out which students have summer birthdays without even looking at the birthday list. (In kindergarten and 1st grade I can also tell which students were preemies.) Usually summer birthdays, especially boys, outgrow it by the time they are in 6th grade; it sometimes takes them that long.
One thing I think is forgotten is education is not only about academics. It is also about developing social and life skills that only can be gained in the classroom.
There are only two times students say they are board in the classroom. It is either because their parents talk an extreme amount how they should be bored and there isn't enough enrichment or it is really too hard for them and they would rather play video games (since they spend way too many hours doing that).
Being a kid who was skipped a grade myself, and as a parent of a kid who could do very well academically if he were a greade ahead, I wholeheartedly support you putting Carter in Kindergarten this year. It makes it so tough to be a grade higher than the peers at church, and getting into high school the whole dating thing gets mixed up, too. And, I don't think I would ever move a boy up, just for the maturity thing. You can supplement Carter's school experience--I hope he won't be too bored!
I'm so happy that it all worked out!! Yea!
I totally think you made the right decision, and for all the right reasons, too. It is stressful, isn't it, making parenting decision? I think it will all be perfect, and wish you all the best the best this school year. Carter will do fantastic. It is interesting how things do work themselves out. Yay!!!
Whew! I'm glad the decision is made and you can relax a bit now! One of the nice things about your decision is that you will never have to look back and say "If only we hadn't moved him forward too fast, perhaps....."! He'll do well. And, I agree with one of your bloggers who said, "that often the 'bored kids' are that way because they've heard their parents say that they will be." Good comment and lots of good advice and support from those who've "been there, done that." Mom
We've both been stressing about the same but different thing. My son is a year younger and we are already stressing about whether he will fit in socially with the kids his age. He is recovering from autism and has made and is still making amazing progress. Acedemically he is equal to his age group but we are so worried that he will be eaten alive socially.
We are seriously considering holding him back in school. He is also underweight and we think it could be good for sports maybe. I find myself thinking about the future wondering if we will regret it either way. We still have a year or two.
I think you made the right decision. I can't believe that the school would spring that on you. Those things need to be thought out thoroughly.
You guys are amazing parents and I can only imagine the huge decision you both had to make. I loved reading your comments and the comments from all your friends. You know what is best for Carter and you can't doubt that. How exciting. He is going to love school and you are going to love watching him blossom. We are so glad that we waited to put the triplets in school until this year. I think the social thing is huge when it comes to the boys. I know that the boys are going to do great this year.
monique, i'm no schooling expert, but my mom and i had this very conversation this past week - about how she wished she had started my brothers in kindergarten later. the cut off in canada is so late - february i think - and so they both started kindergarten at age 4. i'm sure that his teacher will work with you on challenging him academically but he'll be right at home socially and kindergarten will be an amazing experience for everyone! good luck with everything.
Ah, c'mon, you know you just didn't want to make him a new t-shirt! JJ, :) Glad you're at peace with the decision, I know it's been stressful and especially with the ins and outs of that school anyways. You'll make the right decisions, and deal with all the consequences, both good and bad. Either way, I'm sure he'll thrive.
Ah, c'mon, you know you just didn't want to make him a new t-shirt! JJ, :) Glad you're at peace with the decision, I know it's been stressful and especially with the ins and outs of that school anyways. You'll make the right decisions, and deal with all the consequences, both good and bad. Either way, I'm sure he'll thrive.
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